A Safe Distance

Let me brim with mediocrity,
let me stand in the middle of crowds,
posturing my average height,
and flying the 80 gsm, A5 flag that exclaims
in lower-case
the enormity of my anonymity,

let me graze every 2-3 hours on lite snacks
of 200grams with little flavour and
let me relish
in that blandness,

let me burst with muffled feelings,
let reams of watered-down pain and vague memories
of anguish come pouring out from me
into inoffensive river beds,

let my joy never out-climb my torso
and let all that is rational
place it's steady cloak upon me,

let me remain silent in dying rooms and
let birth fling me no surprises,

let me speak only in unstressed syllables,
carefully annunciated,

let my life consist not of verbs but as
a simple stream of conjoined conjunctives,
the line-spacing of which will slowly diminish,
the letters finding themselves closer
and closer together
until I exist only as the word 'then' printed
and reprinted on the same spot of paper,

let me die in such a way that
even my own mother couldn't notice
and please
don't let my last words
be a metaphor for your name.



July 2009